I Am Zen

There is a meek gentleness that slowly descends upon me, like a haunting melody without the limits of spatial boundaries, and contentment dwells within the epicenter of my soul. I am in touch with a profound happiness and also infused with a gentle, serene spirit that overtakes, even pervades, my own physical presence.

When I feel at peace and tranquil I imagine the experience is described, by definition, as a Zen Moment. I am completely relaxed but yet "in the moment". Zen is such a great word, very matter of fact but simple, so why is there such a complexity when attempting to succinctly or efficiently capture the meaning of the phrase Zen Moment?

Thinking and feeling become one without the usual chasm separating these two actions. "All is one and one is all" and any further attempt to describe the experience borders on fatuous. I, myself, before birth even, have forgotten the language and vocabulary that will allow me to fairly express the complete experience of a Zen Moment.

Yet, there soon ebbs in the unfortunate mental voice chastising "wake up-begin again-move!". I begrudgingly become like a fat domestic cat sitting erect with hindquarters efficiently tucked in behind neatly starched front legs, eyes caught in a semi open/closed position. Slowly I succumb to the ancient paternal voice, not knowing when I might opportune to revisit the next precious Zen Moment. I am cheated, robbed, with no judicial recourse. I mutter as if under my breath " The mind trains too well."

Days, even weeks pass and I wonder why my logical mind struggles to prevent my spirit from rising above the monotony of constantly calculating my world. The mind will do all that it can to control the spirit, fighting and unending battle to reign supreme in my conscious state. The mantra always "never to lay down the sword". So my spirit slumbers in a twilight sleep state awaiting any next opportunity to renew itself through me and also renewing me as if we both appear as a single united image in the mirror.

Oh, poor spirit! You are my most kindred and so dear to me containing my earliest known essence from the womb to the present mature woman. If I possessed the power to set you completely free, I would do so now and forever. My decree, written on archaic papyrus in the most beautiful ornate gold leaf by an ancient scribe, would dictate that all remaining moments would be Zen Moments.